Finishing is Winning

It's taken me a long time to organize my thoughts for this race. How do you summarize a 15+ hour day, a 5+ year goal? It's hard to explain what kind of emotions, thoughts, pain, and joy you feel going through an Ironman.

I've organized my race into five things I've learned through the Ironman journey, paired with quotes from my current favorite book series, Divergent by Veronica Roth. Check out the trailer for the movie coming up in March 2013!


1. Fear only has as much power as you give it. "I wonder if fears ever really go away, or if they just lose their power over us." 

There was a storm brewing the morning before the race. When it was time for my teammates and I to jump in for our practice swim, the beach called for double red flags. Having not really gone to the beach, I had no idea what that meant. I just knew it sounded bad, and it definitely looked bad.

Something about no lifeguards, something about no one allowed in the water, something about lifeguards not being able to save you? Hmm... well, we went in anyways where Matt tried to give me a 10 minute "How to Jump Waves and Get Past Breakers" crash course lesson. Jump over those, swim under these, never keep your back against the wave, if you get caught under the wave stay calm, look out for the next wave, no seriously, look out for this wave!! Feeling panicked and scared out of my wetsuit was an understatement, and after a few minutes I had enough. I swam back, only to be tossed and disoriented a few more times before I climbed out of shore, maybe 50+ meters away from where we started.

Brave souls telling the two red flags to HTFU. Yes, I am one of them. Photo from Beth

Pre race swim/bike/run brick

I've written about my fears before, and I knew if I could just get past the waves, I would finish the swim and therefore finish the race. The storm had passed and the waters had drastically calmed down morning of the race, but still present. The minutes leading up to the race were nerve-wracking, the seconds leading up to the race, emotional. I couldn't believe the start was here and every training session I had done would be put to the test. The gun went off and I followed the 3,000+ crowd into the water. I listened to Matt's voice from: yesterday, duck, jump, jump, duck, kick, hold your breath and before I knew it I was past the major breakers. The rest of the swim had some light swells, we went up and down with the waves which admittedly, was kind of fun. I wasn't worried about the current, I wasn't worried about the next buoy, I just drafted with the crowd and before I knew it was on the way back to shore.

Coming out of my first lap I saw friends Katie and Debbie cheering and yelling my name. I was shocked to see them among the crowd that had gathered. I glanced at the clock, and it had already been an hour. Already?! I thought I had done really well, and it's never taken me an hour to do any 1.2 mile swim. Someone next to me told me it was the professional time, and we were only at 50 minutes. With a big sigh of relief, a small smile, I stopped letting my fear take control of me. I got back out of the second lap. An hour later I finished, right under 1:50, with a 10 minute 2.4 mile swim PR to boot.

2. There is still kindness and humanity in the world. "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

 I can't even begin to count the amount of volunteers, strangers, and friends who helped, cheered, and encouraged me throughout the day.

Immediately after the swim a volunteer helped me strip my wetsuit. 2 minutes later another one handed me my bike bag. Another woman helped me get dressed in the tent. She laid out all my clothes and helped me pull down my shirt. She put all my gu and nutrition in my pocket, got me water, and wiped my feet as I haphazardly tried to remember what else I needed to carry or put on. She told me to go whenever I was ready, and she would pack everything up for me. I was handed my bike, clipped in, and ready to go. I passed super sherpas Beth and Johnny, drink in tow, the only way they know how.

Beginning of the bike. Flying and happy!

I flew through the first 50 miles, happy and cheering for all those who I went by and those who flew by me. I chatted with a man, who explained there was a tough segment of bumpy road up ahead (later on I found out he crashed his bike to avoid/help someone else, and was featured in the Ironman recap). Matt snuck up behind me right before the stretch as we passed a TeamZ cheer station.

The road was more than bumpy, it completely sucked. Halfway through were your special needs bags. I couldn't find mine, so another competitor stopped refueling/eating and helped me find mine. Meanwhile a little girl hops over and offers to hold my bike as I got my stuff together. I finished the last stretch of the road, passed the cheer station again and rounded the turn into a deep, dark, spot...


3. Your mind is stronger than your body. "Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now."

After getting off the bumpy stretch of road, I lost it. My arms were tired and sore from navigating the cracks, there was a pretty strong headwind, and the only two or three hills in the entire course just came at the most convenient time. I started to cramp all over my legs and my mood made a complete 180 degree turn. My speed slowed down drastically and I turned into some sort of cycling zombie. All I knew was I had to keep pedaling. I talked to myself, sang, cried, laughed, anything to keep my mind off of it. 70 miles=42 miles to go, 80 miles=32 miles to go (seriously WTF, 32 more miles to go?!). The cramps kept getting worse. I wanted off the bike.

At mile 90, flamingo Beth jumped out in the middle of the course to do a little dance. Thinking back it was pretty freaking funny, but I don't even know if I mustered a smile. At the next aid station I got off my bike to stretch. I don't know how long I stopped but it felt like forever. I was fighting to make it under my goal of 7 hours and time was slipping by. I couldn't even stand without having pains going up and down my leg. How the heck was I ever going to get back? I tried a couple times to get up, then tried a few more times to just swing my leg over my bike. Quitting was never an option, but I questioned how I could possibly finish this leg of the race. I wanted to go but my body would not physically let me. After some time, my mind finally took control. Magically, I sucked it up, got back on, and pedaled through the last 15+ miles. The pain never went away but mentally it didn't matter. I made it back right under my 7 hour goal at 6:55.

So... close...

4. Friends are underrated. "Sometimes the best way to help someone is to be near them."

Start of the run- can you see the pain on my face?

I paid for pedaling through the pain when I got off my bike. Immediately getting off I couldn't do anything except crouch over in transition. Stretching one part of my leg would cause another part to cramp. Eventually I got up and managed to get into the changing tent. Another volunteer helped me change and literally dressed me, putting on my sleeves, socks, and shoes because I couldn't bend over to get them on. After thanking her over and over again, I started off on my marathon. I couldn't decide if it was "only a marathon left" or "oh crap I still have to run a marathon left." I was moving slowly but knew I would see the TeamZ tent not too far away from transition. I desperately needed some encouragement from familiar faces. I saw Beth and Johnny before they saw me. I told them I was dying. "NO! YOU'RE NOT! You have 8 hours to do a marathon. YOU! GOT! THIS!"- Beth. She updated me on my family in Maryland and California, and the friends tracking me at home. Everyone was online checking splits, which helped encourage me to always find the next one. She walked with me for a bit and the dropped back off to cheer.

Hard core flamingo cheerers. Photo from Kathy

I walked the first 1.5 miles through the main street lined with spectators. Everyone was cheering me on but I couldn't physically pick up and rotate my legs. I  sucked it up again and was able to do a run/walk. When I was actually running I was able to keep a decent pace around 11 min/miles. The two loop out and back course allowed me to see a ton of TeamZ friends and cheerers. I finally snuck up on Matt. We walked and chatted a bit when he told me was going to have to walk the whole thing. That freaked me out because I did not want to walk and be out here longer than necessary. I picked it up again and finished the first lap right as the night went completely dark.

Sometime during the first lap Johnny went to get my bike and bags, so I wouldn't have to worry about it after the race. I saw Beth again and desperately asked if she could just stay with me a little while. She went back to grab her bike and pedaled next to me, and so came the last 13.1 miles of my day. At this point I had already gone 127.5 and been in pain for almost 7 hours. There were some points I moved so slow that Beth had to get off her bike and walk next to me. We got to the furthest point of the course, into the park, where she couldn't come with me. It only lasted a little over a mile, but was no doubt the longest, slowest, darkest, hardest part of my day.

Towards the last 4 miles running wasn't even an option anymore. I managed to shuffle through a few stretches, barely picking up my legs. People in front of me thought there was an elephant coming through. Beth kept telling me stories, stories about our teammates, stories about her day, random stories about random people, anything to keep my mind off. Eventually the miles started to countdown, 23=3.2 miles left, 24=2.2 miles left. Beth texted all my friends and family that I had 2 miles left. I knew a lot of them were watching and wanted to make them proud.

Hmmm.. soup!

Coming up on mile 26 was TeamZ with so much cheering, so much energy, and so much love. The finisher chute was pretty long, but I didn't mind, it was my chance to soak it all in- I had the race in the bag and all I had to do now was enjoy the last few minutes. I kept looking behind me selfishly so I didn't have to "share" my finish line moment. Every hand was stretched out to high-five me and my face was on the jumbo tron. Seconds later I heard my name and hometown, and the infamous words you only dream to hear "You. Are. An. Ironman."

Thank you J&H for this awesome screen shot!

5. "Finishing is Winning" - students in my 6th period AP Stat class.

To a certain extent, I still can't really fathom what I had done. The training had been so long and grueling, that the long days just kind of blur together. No sane people actually participate in these events, at least nobody like me. And then I remembered why I did it to begin with. Not just for the finisher jacket, the car sticker, the amazing welcome home/Ironman parties at home, but to know that at any time, at any age, anybody can finish what they start, and win.

When I first heard of Ironman I reacted the same way my students did. "That's CRAZY!" "How do you eat?" "Do you win? If you don't, why do it?" "I would never be able to do that, I can't even run a mile." They didn't get it like I didn't get it. But after 6 years of teaching, I received some of the best compliments I ever got from parents. So many parents not only encouraged me to continue racing, but thanked me for being such a positive role model for their kids.

I can't thank everybody enough for being there for me through the year. For all those who I know tracked at home, you really encouraged me to reach the next split! (All of TeamZ, Esther, Aunt Ching, Cat, Emmie, Emily and J, Jenny, Susan, Sean, Lauren, Jo, Harriet, Jason, Debbie, Robert, Baby K). I will also remember those cheering on course: Deb, Katie, Ryan, Euge, Kathy, Greg, John, Janet. Thanks Tom for picking me up from the finish. Thanks Tom Fong and CYC for your sponsorship! Big thanks to Johnny for being an awesome driving friend, roommate, sherpa, and being so proud of us that you almost teared up at the start. Huge thanks to Matt for being my training partner through all of it. And the BIGGEST GREATEST THANK YOU to super sherpa extraordinaire pink flamingo/flowing flamingo BETH! Your physical and emotional support has been everything to me, just let me know when it's your turn to run Ironman and I'll be there :)

Super Sherpa Beth!

Training partner Matt

Ironman Cake

CYC welcome home party but together by my sweet brother 

CYC "Welcome Home Gladiators"

It wouldn't be a real blog entry without a picture of K

Check out some awesome videos on the race:

Ironman Florida 2013 Race Highlight

Ironman Florida Swim Start

*Summary of Divergent via amazon.com, an amazing series I highly recommend it: In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.