Fearless

Google fearless, and these are some things you get:

"Fearless is not the the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you death."

"Being able to stare someone in the eye as they hold a rubber band wrapped around their hand ready to fling at you without flinching."

"Having fears, but jumping anyways."

Don't flinch

Mention fearless, and this is what I think:

1. People who skydive and bungee jump
2. An awesome Taylor Swift song/album/concert
3. My niece
4. read on...

It took me 4 seasons of Triathlons to want to sign up for an Ironman. Not because I didn't think I could do it, not because of any physical problems, but because I was scared. What happens if you can't survive the training? What happens if someone steals your bike the week before your race? What happens if everything goes perfectly up to the day of the race, and by some rare probability you don't finish?

For my one-year-old niece, everything is new to her, yet she faces new things and new people with no fear. Two days into her trip this summer in Maryland, she learned how to climb stairs. The next day her dad showed her how to pivot at the top of the stairs and go down backwards. She first tried on the two step hardwood floor from the kitchen to the living room, and fell flat on her face (on my watch, oops.) Later on she tried again and succeeded, and the day after she could climb down backwards from the second to the first floor (13 steps!). She's the friendliest baby in public and will smile at you coyly, let you pick her up, even crawl or walk over to socialize.

If you fall...

try again!

Meeting her friend Victoria for the first time

Trust me, she wasn't always this fun to be around. Unlucky with acid reflex, K would only sleep a few hours at a time (up until 7 months!), torturing her parents and everyone around her until they played the "vacuum" song or go through an elaborate fifteen step process of putting her down. One day it stopped, just like one day a few weeks ago she started walking. Like my sister said, she walked when she was ready and not when someone made her.

Big girl standing with big girl jeans

So, what's the last thing I think of when I hear of the word fearless?

4. What would K do?

In the past 3 weeks, I've survived completed an 18 mile run/110 mile ride training weekend, a 2.4 mile swim, and a 20 mile run/120 mile ride training weekend. All of which I had never done altogether, two of which were "longest rides ever," and one "longest swim ever." It's scary to try something you've never done. It's scary because you don't know if you can do it, no matter how hard you try. But like my niece, you brush off the fear, grow up, and face it on your own terms and on your own time. 

Back to back 20 mile run, 120 mile ride weekend

September has been a huge month. I'll never be as fearless as K, but I've learned how she faces life; look fear in the eye, and just jump anyways. After all, I have to make sure she as at least one cool Ironman Aunt.

K's fearless face

Twenty-two

Two weeks ago my little brother, the youngest of our herd turned 22. As happy as I was to celebrate, I was sad it was not me turning 22. I loved the age of 22 for several reasons..

1) There is an awesome Taylor Swift song about being 22!

2) It is divisible by 11 and at age 22 I learned the awesome 11 divisibility rule. Aren't you curious to know what it is? (YES!) Hopefully everybody remembers the easier divisibility rules. For 2, if the last number is even, it is divisible by 2. For 3, if the numbers add up to be divisible by 3, it is divisible by 3. For 4, if the last two numbers are divisible by 4, the whole number is divisible by 4. But 11???

Watch this cool trick: If you flip flop subtracting and adding all the digits from left to right, and the final sum/difference is divisible by 11, then the entire number is divisible by 11.

3) It's a year past 21 where you've tried/drank almost everything out there and have successfully figured out how much you can handle without falling asleep or throwing up on the metro.

4)  It's the age I completed my first triathlon (Dog Days of Summer Tri in Ashburn) which changed the rest of my life. No, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I swam in a Costco bathing suit and proceeded to throw on shorts and a t-shirt for the bike and run. I walked up a not-so-steep hill during the ride not even sure if it was legal. Nobody came with me and I don't even have pictures to prove that I actually did it. I walked almost half of the run. I can't find the results but I'm pretty sure I came in the bottom 10.

I'm not sure what "inspired" me to keep going after sucking so much. Maybe it was because I had already spent $250 on Nation's Tri a month later. But if you put it all in perspective, the lower you start, the more you can improve. 

Nation's Tri 2009. It was actually more like 3:59:49 (promise)

For someone who never swam*, biked, or ran more than maybe once a year (each!) prior to age 22, I think I did a pretty darn good job the following years; which leads me to believe that it truly is never too late to start something new. For those younger, I hope you love and appreciate the sheer awesomeness and opportunities heading your way. For those older and my future self, I hope you never forget what it feels like to be 22 (or the 11 divisibility rule).


"It seems like one one of those nights, we ditched the whole scene and end up dreaming, instead of sleeping..."


*Okay I actually swam for one summer swim season when I was 10. I stopped because I burned easily in the sun and would swim for one day and spend 3 days recovering from my sunburn. The more I burned, the more I lathered on sunscreen. It wasn't until I was 18 I realized I was allergic to sunscreen :(