Fearless

Google fearless, and these are some things you get:

"Fearless is not the the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you death."

"Being able to stare someone in the eye as they hold a rubber band wrapped around their hand ready to fling at you without flinching."

"Having fears, but jumping anyways."

Don't flinch

Mention fearless, and this is what I think:

1. People who skydive and bungee jump
2. An awesome Taylor Swift song/album/concert
3. My niece
4. read on...

It took me 4 seasons of Triathlons to want to sign up for an Ironman. Not because I didn't think I could do it, not because of any physical problems, but because I was scared. What happens if you can't survive the training? What happens if someone steals your bike the week before your race? What happens if everything goes perfectly up to the day of the race, and by some rare probability you don't finish?

For my one-year-old niece, everything is new to her, yet she faces new things and new people with no fear. Two days into her trip this summer in Maryland, she learned how to climb stairs. The next day her dad showed her how to pivot at the top of the stairs and go down backwards. She first tried on the two step hardwood floor from the kitchen to the living room, and fell flat on her face (on my watch, oops.) Later on she tried again and succeeded, and the day after she could climb down backwards from the second to the first floor (13 steps!). She's the friendliest baby in public and will smile at you coyly, let you pick her up, even crawl or walk over to socialize.

If you fall...

try again!

Meeting her friend Victoria for the first time

Trust me, she wasn't always this fun to be around. Unlucky with acid reflex, K would only sleep a few hours at a time (up until 7 months!), torturing her parents and everyone around her until they played the "vacuum" song or go through an elaborate fifteen step process of putting her down. One day it stopped, just like one day a few weeks ago she started walking. Like my sister said, she walked when she was ready and not when someone made her.

Big girl standing with big girl jeans

So, what's the last thing I think of when I hear of the word fearless?

4. What would K do?

In the past 3 weeks, I've survived completed an 18 mile run/110 mile ride training weekend, a 2.4 mile swim, and a 20 mile run/120 mile ride training weekend. All of which I had never done altogether, two of which were "longest rides ever," and one "longest swim ever." It's scary to try something you've never done. It's scary because you don't know if you can do it, no matter how hard you try. But like my niece, you brush off the fear, grow up, and face it on your own terms and on your own time. 

Back to back 20 mile run, 120 mile ride weekend

September has been a huge month. I'll never be as fearless as K, but I've learned how she faces life; look fear in the eye, and just jump anyways. After all, I have to make sure she as at least one cool Ironman Aunt.

K's fearless face