Besties

Every(body) girl needs a bestie.

bestie (via urban dictionary): An adoring nickname for one you hold in highest esteem, more commonly known as a best friend. A bestie is the person who you not only go shopping with on a regular basis but also trust implicitly with anything.. besties do not come and go like waves and sandcastles, they are more like permanent marker on American Eagle jeans, they'll stay with you forever. A true bestie would stick with you through all of it, walking in when the world walks out.

B and S

Here is a story of three generations of (real) besties.

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Betsy and Maureen met in 1975 when they moved to DC for graduate school. Like most college kids, they were missing home and on a limited food budget. One day between classes they decided to seek out the "good stuff" in DC. They drove down unfamiliar streets and stumbled upon an Italian grocery store. They bought bread, salami, and cheese. As soon as they got back to the car, they devoured the spoils of their little field trip. From that day on, they bonded in a way that only 22 year old, single women did in a new city. 

While in graduate school, Maureen's mother became ill and was eventually diagnosed with ALS. By the time she passed away, Maureen was well on her way to her Ph.D. in child development and Betsy had switched to George Washington University for a Master's in early childhood/special education. When there was a vacancy in the apartment above Maureen's Hyatsville apartment, Betsy moved in. They dated, had their hearts broken, broke the heart of others, finished their degrees, joined the work force, met their future husbands and continued their search for good food. With no mother, Betsy filled in and hunted for the perfect wedding gown for Maureen. After Betsy gave birth to first daughter Becca, Maureen and her husband Tom moved 3,000 miles away to Seattle. Every August, Maureen would come back to visit Betsy, who was graced with a second daughter, Emily.  The years rolled by and Maureen entered local politics and served on numerous boards, always doing good work for others. Maureen tried for many years to become pregnant and her journey to motherhood ended joyously in the Forbidden City of China where she and Tom traveled to have the beautiful Micheala placed in their arms. 

Tom and Maureen visiting Becca and Emily in August

Maureen was diagnosed with ALS in October of 2010. By this time Maureen was a popular member of the city council of Issaquah, WA. Maureen was the epitomy of grace. She didn't complain, had impeccable manners, and lived and loved without fear of ALS, a disease that is all too inheritable and had now struck both her mother and a maternal aunt. Maureen's speech began to slur during her yearly August visits. The disease progressed quickly. She soon lost her ability to walk, her head slumped and her speech became increasingly hard to understand. Every three months, Betsy would fly to Seattle to see Maureen and the rapid progression of ALS. Although there was no cure, they both began to search for clinical trials. Maureen would contact people by e-mail, Betsy would be her voice. Maureen wanted to participate to help save future generations. Betsy wanted to save her.

Betsy and Maureen in the early stages of ALS

Tom lifted, carried, and cared for Maureen in every way possible. In between, he worked at his job in finance and carpooled Michaela. How he got through through the two years that followed Maureen's diagnosis is the mystery that love brings. Maureen and Betsy laughed, cried, watched many movies and taped episodes of International Househunters.  As time passed, they stopped looking for clinical trials and instead looked for old friends on Facebook. Thankfully, Maureen never had to leave her home. Tom and Michaela saw to her every need. On Independence Day, 2012, Maureen died as she lived, with grace and surrounded by love.

A dedication for Maureen at McCrary Woods, Squak Mountain State Park

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Elizabeth and Iwon were born less than a month apart. They met in 7th grade but didn't become best friends until high school. They tried out for freshman volleyball and both advanced to varsity their sophomore year. Emily was always stronger and faster and the only advantage that Iwon really had was that she was 7 inches taller. 

Elizabeth (middle) and Iwon (right) during senior year co-ed volleyball

Even though they went to different colleges, they knew everything about each other's lives. Three years into it, they both decided they were too cool for school and finished their degrees one year early. They went to each other's graduations and got their first jobs. In October of 2008, they both decided to run their first 5k together. Iwon twisted her ankle halfway through the race, but Elizabeth pushed her to keep running. It is still both of their fastest 5ks to this day. 7 months later they both ran their first half marathon. Not surprisingly, Elizabeth beat her by over 10 minutes. A few months later they both lost their first jobs, but it fazed neither of them. They had the support of each other and within a few months both girls were back in business.

First and fastest 5k @ 25:43

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Emma and Bella were friends before they were even born. Emma's parents are both American while Bella's parents are Brazilian. The four of them were international teachers who decided to work at a start up school at King Abdullah's University of Science and Technology (KAUST) in Saudi Arabia.  Emma and Bella's parents spent lots of time together, as there was not much to do at KAUST. Emma was born in September while Bella was born in November. They like to smile at each other and play with each other by waving their arms in the general direction of the other baby, not to be confused with smacking one another.

Baby Besties (Emma left, Bella right)

Emma's parents decided to leave KAUST less than a year after meeting her bestie. They took a job at a new school in Shanghai while Bella's family stayed behind. They hope to see each other again soon somewhere around the world. 

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Have you figured out the connection? 

*Elizabeth is Emily's middle name. Iwon is my middle name. Emmalyn is my niece Kadence's middle name.

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Besties understand each other when they haven't learned to speak. Besties PR races with each other. Besties fill in when others aren't there and love and support to the end. I have never met Maureen but I am thankful for her. Her bond with Betsy started a chain reaction of love, compassion, and empathy for others; passed down through Emily and shared through me.

Whatever we do in life, we can't do alone. I would have never finished that 5k. And even though Emily doesn't race with me anymore, she's always my biggest fan. I hope one day I can show Kadence what it's like to be a best friend, to smile at life's accomplishments, to support good and bad decisions, and to be brave when the other one can't. 


So grab some cheese and salami, run a 5k together, or just smile and wave. Besties are forever, and one of the greatest blessings on earth.

When life leaves you high and dryI'll be at your door tonight if you need help, if you need helpI'll shut down the city lights,I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe to make you well, to make you wellWhen enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from warIf you need help, if you need helpYour hope dangling by a stringI'll share in your suffering, to make you well, to make you well

***ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), is often referred to as Lou Gehrig's disease after the popular Yankee baseball player who died of ALS in 1941. ALS is a progressive disease that that attacks the motor neurons that provides the stimulation needed to move all of the muscles of the body. A person with ALS gradually looses control of voluntary muscle movements throughout their body. There is no cure and it is always fatal, usually between 2 and 5 years. Click here for information on Maureen McCrary's dedication ceremony. Please consider donating to Emily's ALS walk this fall.